


I Want To Kiss You

by wishfulFeline



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Confession, Drama, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Pairings, Roleplay, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 22:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4683896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulFeline/pseuds/wishfulFeline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just like any other night, Hide and Kaneki are sitting together at the park. But the feelings they feel aren't just like every other night, and neither is what happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Kiss You

**Author's Note:**

> This was a roleplay I did with my girlfriend! She did Kaneki and I did Hide, so we switched back and forth writing the paragraphs. The first one is mind and we rotated after that! Please enjoy!

The sky was a deep blue as Kaneki and Hide sat at their usual place in the park, not so different from any other night they spent together. The stars were slightly visible, shimmering against their dark backdrop, but also somewhat concealed by the clouds that were present. Hide lay on the play structure they were on, leaning back on his hands and splaying out his legs. "Pretty nice out, right?" Hide asked, tilting his head over to Kaneki while grinning. The day had been warmer that usual, even with the clouds, a nice change if the often chilly winds of fall. Kaneki and Hide had met up only a while earlier after Hide texted Kaneki complaining about his loneliness and claiming that Kaneki would rot alone in his house after he died if he didn't come to hang out with friends more often.

"Yeah, I guess so," Kaneki responded sheepishly, "Better than rotting alone, huh?" He nudged his friend sitting beside him, mocking his comment from earlier that night. It was good for him to get out more, since he probably would have just been reading at home as always, but he didn't mind getting to see Hide regardless of the reason. "A night like this reminds me of when we stargazed as kids..." He trailed off, being absorbed by the memories for a moment before snapping back to reality.

"Yep! Duh, anything would be, actually, but especially a night with your best buddy!" Hide exclaimed, bumping shoulders with Kaneki in response to his nudges. "And I guess it does. But we've hung out here so many times since then too," Hide said, quietly reminiscing alongside him silently for a moment. "So, what were you up to before I interrupted? Hopefully nothing scandelous. But probably nothing interesting, in reality knowing you," Hide slyly whispered into the already quiet air.

"O-Of course not!" Kaneki frowned, embarrassed by the accusation. "You'd be the one doing something 'scandalous'." He rolled his eyes before continuing, "I was just reading another novel; Sen came out with his newest work recently and I just got my hands on a copy. I'm about halfway through it, which was a good stopping point, so you didn't really interrupt." He looked back up at the sky, picking out some familiar stars and watching the clouds float across them quietly. "What were you up to?"

"Hey I was not! I don't need to do that, what with drowning in panties being thrown at me and all," Hide laughed. "Glad you like your book though. Hope it's good."   
"I wasn't doing anything really, that's why I asked you to hang out," Hide explained, sitting up straighter to ruffle his hair with one hand. "Like I said, I was kinda lonely! Even though that's embarrassing for a guy like me to say. Just felt like seeing ya."

"Drowning in all those invisible panties, mhm, sure." He said slyly to himself and smirked at Hide's ridiculous statement, but it was mostly hidden by the shadow cast across his face by the starlight. Hide's last statement made him raise an eyebrow and look away from the stars and look the fluffy-haired boy in the eye. They hung out pretty often, that was true, and they liked each other's company when they were lonely, like any typical friends; but they never really just saw each other because they "felt like it". "Really? That seems unlike you. You didn't woo any girls into going out with you on nights like this yet?"

"Hey! They're totes real man. I don't even think invisible panties exist. Yet." Hide says, faking a serious tone. He looks back at Kaneki, meeting his gaze and smiling gently. "Not yet, suprisingly. But even if I did, I can still want to see you, right?" Hide wore his heart on his sleeve. Deep down, any moment he was away from Kaneki, he longed to be with him once more. But, being the big manly tough man man he was, it wasn't like he would be any good at pouring those emotions out to Kaneki. He didn't understand why being alone with his best friend lately made his heart race.

"Well, I guess so..." He realized the coldness of his statement, but Hide's bright smile showed his forgiveness. Hide always radiated a warmth that was comfortable to be around and could melt the coldest of personalities, like Kaneki's. Hide was like home to him... Is that something weird to think about your best friend? "I guess I wouldn't want a girl to keep us from seeing each other sometimes."

"Yeah! Even though we'll both be swarmed by so many girls in our lifetime, or, at least I will be, but I won't let that keep me away from my home dog!" Hide says, feigning a carefree tone and patting Kaneki on the back. He holds his hand there for just a moment too long, feeling the heat of his body, and he flinches away as if it burns. Why does touching him feel so...like, weird? Hide's expression falters for a moment in frustration. What is this feeling?

Kaneki felt the situation turning awkward, giving him an uneasy feeling. What was happening? Was their friendship... dying? Was that why it was so hard to carry a conversation tonight? No, that's not really what it felt like. This feeling was unfamiliar; he couldn't place it in his mind. Whatever it was, he didn't like it. He really didn't like feeling so uneasy with his best friend, but he didn't want Hide to see it either, even though he'd probably already noticed the troubled expression on Kaneki's face. "Is everything alright?"

"What? Yeah, what do you mean? Everything's good!" Hide responds curiously. Could it be Kaneki was noticing his questionable emotions? Hide himself didn't even understand what was going on with his brain the last few times he'd seen Kaneki, why when he thought about him his thoughts scattered and his heart skipped a beat in his chest. "You cool? I'm cool. We cool?" Hide said smiling, cocking his head to the side as he looked at Kaneki. Were his eyes always this pretty? Probably, but why was Hide just noticing this now?

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Just something seemed-uh..." He trailed off, wondering if he should even finish the statement. Of course everything was fine! He was just over thinking things. Even the best of friends can have awkward lulls in conversation. But still, something didn't seem quite right. Something about tonight was different, but he decided to shrug it off. Maybe Hide was right and all that reading had finally gotten to him. "Nevermind, you're right. Everything's fine!" He scratched his chin in his iconic lying gesture, smiling back at the other. He wanted more than anything to dispel this atmosphere, but he didn't know what to say or what to do. What was going on tonight?

Hide forces himself to ignore Kaneki's obvious discomfort. Jeez, Hide thinks, am I really that obvious? Maybe if I stay away from Kaneki for a little while this feeling will come to an end. Hide turns away from Kaneki, looking around at the scenery he was already very familiar to him with a facade of newfound interest. Hide thinks about all the times he's spend with Kaneki here, and how long that they've always been together. It makes him happy to know he has such a close friend and that he's had him for such a long time. So why, after all this time did it feel like his feelings were growing...deeper. Hide wonders exactly what his new nervousness entails, regardless of how many times he tries to brush it off as nothing, and he thinks maybe he's just realizing how cool Kaneki has become? That's gotta be it and nothing else, right? Kaneki is a pretty cool guy. Although he's nerdy and shy, he's still cool and good at talking to people and smart and fashionable. He's probably a better friend than Hide deserves, he thinks. The crickets chirp in the quiet autumn air and the boys conversation momentarily halts. Hide isn't sure how to respond to Kaneki. If Kaneki agreed with him that everything was fine, what more was there to say? It's weird to have small talk with your best friend. Hide blushes subtly at the reminder that they were alone together. Hide and Kaneki had a lot of alone time together, but something about it recently got his blood pumping. In fact, maybe their alone time had always excited him, but he never noticed it because it was normal to him? There was no way for him to figure out his heart rate of the past, so he pushed the thought aside. What should he do now?

His smile fades when Hide turns away from him, and he turns to look out at whatever it was that seemed to take Hide's interest. It was the same scenery as always, the same old play structure that they had played on when they were younger, the same big tree that Hide always insisted on climbing- nothing out of the ordinary except the atmosphere they'd created. Usually, this place was so bright and full of life to him, even on the clouded, dark nights that they spent here - was that because of Hide? Now that he thought about it, Hide was usually the one to keep up their conversations and keep them from coming to pauses like this. He always had a sunniness about him that brightened up any situation, but tonight he was the opposite. It was like talking to a stranger. What was he hiding that he couldn't tell his best friend? Kaneki knew he wasn't one to talk, since he had his own share of secrets that he kept hidden from Hide, but Hide was usually an open book. He felt like he should say something, do something, but what? "S-so, uh..." he started to say something, but decided against it. He was never one to start, well, anything, even as simple as conversation, even with Hide. He found it easier to talk to Hide, sure, but not tonight. What should I say? He thought, What can I say?

Hide turns his head to glance at Kaneki as he begins to speak. He makes a sound of acknowledgement as if to encourage him to continue. He examines his friend closely. His thin neck and his visible big silver eyes. His pale perfect skin and thin pointed nose. His small light pink lips. His lips. Hide's eyes linger. His eye's twitch away before returning to his friends face. "Kaneki," Hide begins as he leans a bit closer to him. "Sorry I don't really know what to talk about. I know I usually tell you everything, but I don't really understand what's going on either. Don't worry about it or anything!" Hide says smiling. He puts his arm around Kaneki to pull him closer in an act of friendly intimacy, but the touch leaves his skin tingling. He doesn't remove his arm though, the feeling isn't entirely unpleasant.

Kaneki catches Hide looking at him again and meets his eyes. He watches Hide's deep brown eyes glide across his face before looking away once again for a moment. Is he having a hard time looking at me? He thought, but immediately threw off the idea. He took a deep breath, waiting for the other to speak, relieved when he finally did. "It's ok, I understand what it's like to not know what to say," He responded quickly. "I, I don't really understand what's happening here either, but I can't help worrying... Since its so unlike you..." He looked down at his hands, tapping his thumbs lightly against each other. "But I'll believe you, and I won't worry too much." Hide's arm around his shoulder was a familiar, reassuring act that brought a faint smile back to his face. The warmth of Hide's body against his was a refreshing change from the cold awkwardness from before, and he felt himself almost melting into it. Something inside him made him almost want to lean in closer, rest his head on the other's shoulder - Wait, what? His thoughts halted when he realized what he was thinking. Hide and I are friends, he thought. Even as close as we are, that'd be weird. What am I thinking?

Hide finds himself smiling as Kaneki leans into his touch. This is nice. Just guys being guys. What's better than that? "Thank you," Hide says quietly, even though he doesn't need to. He closes his eyes comfortably as he faces forward again. There's barley anyone out right now, and the night is filled with usual background noise, like far away cars passing by and the nocturnal birds and bugs. He feels the silence become more comfortable now that he explained himself to Kaneki. Hopefully he wouldn't have to talk about it again and then it would pass and they could joke about it later. Hide pulls the other a bit closer and slightly curls his fingers against the fabric of Kaneki's shirt, feeling his boney figure beneath. Hide opens his eyes again and throws Kaneki and side ways glance. "You're a great guy, Kaneki!" He grins that signature bright grin and his teeth and eyes glint in the starlight.

Kaneki looks up from his hands and smiles back at him, that bright smile could make anyone smile back. Hide's smile was one of those genuine smiles that immediately lifted you up, that made you think 'Hey, everything's really great' even if the whole world was falling apart. Being pulled in closer to it and Hide's warmth, that was a plus, so he didn't object. "I just said what I thought you would if it were me; it's not all that great," he responds bashfully, "If anyone's great, it's you!" He still reflected on the past few moments, their strange atmosphere haunted his mind, but he pushed it away for the time being. Now, with the wind rustling that big tree and causing the swings of the playset to creak and Hide's smile bringing back the familiarity, everything was back to how it should be.

"Whatever, I guess we're both pretty awesome. Thanks man!" Hide says proudly says swinging his head up for a moment. His smile becomes gentler as he looks back to Kaneki. Hide's eyebrows twitch again as he can't help but notice how handsome Kaneki is. "Dude, did you do something new with your face? Like, aside from the eyepatch? Because, no homo, you lookin' good," Hide says seriously, although he's no longer sure about the validity of his no homo. Hide pretends to choke back tears. "My sweet baby boy Kaneki is becoming a man...my son, I never thought this day would come!" Hide throws his arms around Kaneki over emotionally and nuzzles him close. "Don't forget about the man who raised you when you're busy getting laid! I mean, don't think about me while getting laid, just don't forget about me, haha!"

Kaneki pauses, wondering if Hide had seen through his eyepatch disguise already. "What, n-no I didn't really do anything I-AUGH HIDE!" Suddenly being enveloped by Hide's arms threw off his sentence, but the general idea was there. He laughs at Hide's theatrics and ruffles his hair. This was almost like they were little kids again. "You're so dramatic! How could I ever forget you? We're best friends, and we've been together so long that we're going to be stuck together until the end, probably." He thought momentarily about how the end might be sooner than later for him with his new "condition", but the thought faded when his eyes met Hide's again. For now, everything was alright. Only one thing now nagged at his thoughts, and that was this- was this hug a little long and close for "friends"? Hide was usually a pretty friendly guy and was comfortable getting into other's personal space, but following what happened before, and now a lingering hug, it made him worry more about Hide. Had Kaneki's accident affected him somehow? But it had been weeks since then, or Kaneki believed it had been weeks, why was this coming up now? He said don't worry, so don't worry, he thought. Hide wouldn't say not to worry if it was something like that, right? He tried to focus his thoughts back on the situation now, focusing his eyes back on Hide's. The stars reflected their deep chocolate brown and drew your attention to them. His bleach blonde hair reflected golden in the moonlight. Hide knew how to calm down Kaneki, whether he realized it or not: it was just by being there. "The idea of you as my dad is kinda weird," he added as an afterthought. "It's a good thing no one's out right now or they might get the wrong idea from all this."

"Yeah, seriously. Who'd be the mom? Touka? You guys look kinda similar, I guess, but I don't think any girl likes me enough right now to let me impregnate her," he says awkwardly, trying to imagine the odd situation. "I'm not really in the mood to impregnate anyone, actually. So yeah, pretty sure I'm not your dad. Also, I'd be like a 0 year old father, that'd be horrible," Hide rambles, thinking out loud. "Should I stop? I think I should stop," he laughs, "And I don't think they'd get any wrong ideas. We're just bro hugging it out." Hide. "Every guy needs some man on man action every once in a while, right?" Hide stop, he thinks. Man on man action? That sounds like a porno. Seriously, me? Hide uses his free hand to run his fingers through his own scruffy hair. He keeps eye contact with Kaneki and after staring at him for a moment he cracks a grin again.

"Hide..." Boy he sure knew how to make things awkward. "I don't think 'man on man action' is quite what I'd call this, but I get what you mean." He smiles reassuringly, lightly patting Hide's fluffy hair again, accidentally brushing his hand against Hide's in doing so. Now I'm the one making it awkward.... The conversation stopped awkwardly again, leaving the two listening to the far off sounds of night life once again. This time, however, there was a more comfortable feeling in the silence. Kaneki doesn't look away at first this time, he remains focused on Hide, who still had him trapped in his arm. He felt his heart beating slightly faster, he wasn't sure why, as if in anticipation for something, and he wasn't sure what. He looks away, almost as though Hide's grin was blinding him, to focus on something else for a moment while he tries to comprehend the new feeling he was beginning to feel when he looked at Hide, the reason his heart was beating faster now. The longer they sat together like this, the more he felt it, and he began to wonder if maybe- No, there's no way. He wanted to get rid of the thought. He didn't want to jeopardize their friendship over something like THAT. But what if Hide really does- No, no, I can't start thinking like that! Not now, not now...

Hide blinks softly as Kaneki turns away, still smiling. He silently admires Kaneki again, and all his charming qualties. Hide's heart flutters and he doesn't think he can deny anymore that his feelings for the boy were no longer completely platonic. He doesn't try to fight the realization much because it just seemed pretty obvious to him. He'd never really thought about liking a guy in that way before, but it wasn't like he had anything against people who liked the same gender. He always just thought, hey, you do you! But he never thought, hey, I'd do dudes! Hide thinks though that maybe Kaneki was the one exception. He was kinda feminine, right? That was probably why. And cute...dammit, he's cute! I'm at least a little gay for my best bro, Hide accepts. Not homo or no homo, but like, a teaspoon of homo in the ingredients for Hide. Yup. That's it. Maybe his gay will fade away if he looks at enough sexy models. Lady models, obviously! Hide's mind is swirling with gay thoughts but his calm expression hides it well aside from the blush that may or may not be rising to his cheeks. "Kaneki, hey," Hide murmurs, trying to capture his attention.

Kaneki didn't know what to think. His mind was racing trying to place the feeling in some way that made sense to him, some way that he was satisfied with. The only conclusion he could come to was love, and he didn't like that thought. It wasn't because he didn't find Hide attractive, of course Hide was attractive, and it wasn't because he refused to see himself with a guy, he'd never really found himself only attracted to women anyway, but he just didn't want to get Hide involved in his mess of a life. He didn't want to love Hide and have something bad happen to him because of it, the idea made him sick, but he knew he already had that problem. Somehow, in his mind, being a couple would make it worse. Had it only been earlier that he'd felt this way, maybe they could have been happy, but not now, not with Kaneki how he was now. That's what Kaneki thought, anyway. These thoughts swirled around in his mind, almost making himself dizzy, until Hide's voice pulled him out of the whirlwind. "H-huh?" He slowly turned back to face the other, whose still smiling face set him at ease for only a moment before his over active mind took over again. "What is it, Hide?"

Hide smiles at Kaneki and holds his gaze with gentle brown eyes. Without really thinking, he moves a bit closer. Hide looks down at Kaneki's lips and bites his own nervously. "Hey, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I really want to kiss you right now," Hide says, just letting the words spill from his mouth. Before Kaneki can have a chance to respond, hide moves closer and brushes his nose next to Kaneki's. He swallows hard before wordlessly closing the gap between them and pressing his lips tentatively against Kaneki's. The sensation is warm and Kaneki's lips are softer than Hide would have thought. He holds the position, to nervous to move, either to advance or pull away. Oh shit, what am I doing? Hide thinks. Hopefully Kaneki won't think I'm some lunatic who goes kissing his random dude friends out of the blue. But he savors the feeling, assuming the moment will end immediately when Kaneki realizes what exactly is happening.

"Wh-Wha-," he tries to form the words to express his shock, but his mind seemed to stop working and his mouth seemed to seize up. He wouldn't have had the time anyway, because before he could process anything, Hide's lips were pressed against his, stopping any futile movement. His eyes widened and his heart raced, was this what he'd been anticipating before? He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he wanted to do. Hide, his best friend, the friend who he might have feelings for too, was kissing him. Anyone in a situation like this would freeze up too, right? But he couldn't keep from thinking how nice it was, how nicely his and Hide's lips seemed to mold together, how nice it felt to have that warmth Hide always radiated and he'd only felt in bits focused completely on him and seem to spread from his lips all throughout his body. He wanted to kiss him back, he wanted to kiss him more, his eyes threatened to close and let him, but his body acted first. He gripped Hide's shoulders and pushed him away, breaking the kiss, leaving Kaneki with a bright blush on his pale face and a loss for words.

Hide quickly removes himself from Kaneki as he's pushed away. "Ah, shit, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that," he yelps in shock. "Should I leave. Oh, fuck, just, forget this ever happened." Hide quickly pushes himself upright and rises to his feet. God, what did I expect to happen, he thinks, face bright red. "S-See you later Kaneki." Hide mutters through clenched teeth, half heartedly waving over his shoulder to Kaneki. He hops off the play structure they were sitting on and quickly starts to jog away. "I just fucked up everything, didn't I?" he whispers to himself quickly.

Kaneki pauses, still in a dreamlike state, only half hearing what Hide says. His eyes follow the other's movements and watch him jog off a ways before he realizes that Hide's leaving, gone. "Hi-Hide, wait!" He yells after him, but he's too far away to hear by now. He quickly scrambles up, jumps down from the playground, and chases after him. Why? Why did I push him away? The gentle sounds that had surrounded them earlier now seemed to mock Kaneki as he followed the shortcut that he knew would ultimately end up back at Hide's apartment, if he didn't catch him on the way first. He runs as fast as he could manage, but Hide was still just out of sight, and he was running out of breath. He pulls his phone from the pocket of his jacket, his last resort, and quickly calls Hide, hoping to hear his awful ringtone nearby or at least hoping that Hide would answer.

Hide's light jog turns into a sprint as he speeds towards his home. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he runs, possibly from the wind resistance as he ran, but more likely because of the fact he may have just jeopardized the most important relationship in his life. God, I'm such an idiot! Hide thinks to himself. He berates himself harshly for acting so thoughtlessly. As he makes it to the outdoor staircase to get to his floor of the building, he nearly trips on the first step as his phone rings in his pocket and annoying over popular rap music plays, muffled by the fabric of his shorts. "What now...?" Hide asks no one specific as he pulls out his phone to check the caller ID. It's Kaneki. Hide wonders what Kaneki could be calling about. Maybe it was to yell at him about before? There was no reason he could want to talk to Hide that Hide didn't think it could end up being anything good. The clicked the ringer on silent and crept up the metal stairs as his device continues to buzz. He stands at his door, fumbling around to get his key in the lock with teary eyes. He turns the handle and opens the door. He steps inside and removes his keys from outside before closing the door half heartedly behind him. He barley enters his home before leaning his back against the door and knocking his head back. He lets the tears forming in his eyes drip out. "I'm such an idiot," he tells himself. It was a very rare event for Hide to cry, but the thought of losing his closest friend was something that could induce this. He throws a hand over his face and just stands there momentarily catching his breath.

Kaneki, frustrated, shoves his phone back in his pocket when Hide doesn't answer, and he doesn't hear the all-too-familiar ringtone anywhere nearby. He doesn't know why he expected him to answer; he saw how upset he was. "I'm such an idiot!" He gasps between breaths, not wanting to slow down to catch his breath. He didn't want Hide to spend a night thinking he'd done something wrong. He didn't want Hide to think he hated him, oh god he didn't want that. He was still quite away from Hide's, he wanted to run faster but he didn't have the ability. He pulls out his phone and tries calling Hide once more. "Please pick up..." he murmurs under his breaths.

As his phone once again begins vibrating, Hide assumes, and is correct in his assumption, that Kaneki was calling him again. Hide nervously collects himself quickly. It's not like I can run away from this an pretend that everything is well. He picks up, still leaning against his front door. "Hey, Kaneki," he answers in a raspy tone.

Hide answers the phone, much to Kaneki's surprise, and Kaneki screeches to a halt, breathing heavily. "H-Hide! H-Hey, uhh," he stopped, realizing that he hadn't thought of what he'd say if Hide were to pick up. "S-so, uh..." He starts walking toward Hide's apartment again, knowing it'd be easier to clear things up in person. "Hide, I-I'm sorry," he paused to take a breath, "A-about earlier that is."

"What are you saying? I'm the one who's sorry. I did something weird and you responded normally," Hide reassures him. He walks away from his door to flick on some lights and sit down. He listens to Kaneki's heaving breaths. What was he so worked up about?

"I-It wasn't weird though," his breaths were still heavy, but they were settling down after walking a while. "Actually, I guess it was a little weird..." That's not helping... What do I say? He thought. "B-but I didn't think it was then. I- uh..." He didn't want to confess like this, he didn't want to say his feelings over the phone, especially when he still didn't know how exactly to convey them. "L-listen, I'll be at your apartment in a few minutes, we-we can clear this up then, if that's alright with you?" He was really much closer than that, but he wanted a few minutes to sort everything out, and he thought Hide might too.

"Yeah, alright," Hide nervously agrees, eyeing his entrance. Hide ends the call, since there was no point in continuing it if Kaneki would be over in a short amount of time. But what was this conversation going to be? Hide hoped it would just be something like Kaneki asking for Hide not to do it again as opposed to him asking him never to look in his general direction ever again. Hide works up a good nervous sweat and a number of butterflies accumulate in his stomach but he just sits in the main room of his small apartment and waits.

Kaneki puts his phone away when Hide abruptly hangs up. It made sense for him to do so, but it still made Kaneki feel as though he was being pushed away, much like he had done to Hide earlier that night. Kaneki climbed the stairs to Hide's apartment and paused outside the door. His breaths were calm now, and he took one last deep breath for good measure. His heart still pounded, but not from the running anymore. Now his heartbeat showed his nervousness. He wasn't sure what was going to happen in the apartment, but he hoped they could at least stay friends... He didn't want to lose Hide because of his stupidity at the park. He raised his hand to knock, hesitating for a moment, then finally knocked. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face Hide again, but it was now or never by this point.

"Coming!" Hide shouted, even though he wasn't very far from the door at all. He stands up and walks towards the door slowly. He reaches for the handle, but flinches away as if it was burning hot. He breathes in and out to relax himself for whatever tense situation was about to come and one again grabs a hold of the handle. Hide turns the handle and opens the door, not needing to check the peep hole to see who it is. "Hey, Kaneki," Hide says nervously, shuffling his feet as he moves aside to let his friend enter his home. After Kaneki steps inside, they walk together to sit down where they usually do on Hide's couch, but the feelings and situation are much different than they usually are in Hide's apartment. Hide twiddles his fingers, something he's never been so nervous to do before, and turns to Kaneki. "Look, dude, whatever you're about to say, I'm so sorry I caused this," Hide quickly explains. "I-I'm probably just confused or something. I'm sorry I got you involved in my problem. Please don't let this ruin what we've got going on."

Kaneki's heart feels like it stops when he sees Hide. It was crazy to think how only yesterday the situation was completely opposite of now, and no awkward feeling existed between them, and even if it did, it wasn't as obvious as now. Sitting next to Hide on the couch wasn't any less strange feeling, and Kaneki taps his foot lightly, his heart beating to the same nervous rhythm. He didn't really know what to say to him, but he didn't like Hide's sorry tone. He understood the reason for it, he was sorry too, but it still made him upset. "Hide, I-" Why was this so hard to tell him? Even now, when he knew Hide felt the same. "You don't need to be sorry. I should be saying sorry to you," was all he could manage.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Hide replies, disgruntled. "It's fine man, I get it! You didn't do anything wrong, I can just back off and move on. It's chill," Hide says, although he is unsure in his words. Hide smiles nervously at Kaneki, his brow slightly creased in nervousness. Kaneki was so sweet, apologizing just because he didn't feel the same way. Hide hoped he wouldn't feel too bad and that they could continue hanging out like bros again after a week or so. Even if Hide's romantic feelings persisted, he decides that he'll reject and ignore them until they simply fade away. Although that might not be very easy.

"You don't get it!" Kaneki raises his voice, and the words come out before he can carefully pick them. "Hide, I-" He chokes up again, looking over to Hide with an expression mixed with gentleness and frustration. His heart beat faster when he looked at him, and, to him, it was the loudest thing in the room, drowning out the sounds of the nearby street and the ticking clock and all the other typical nighttime static. "I don't want you to back off, and I didn't want you to earlier either." His mind catches up to his mouth and he realizes his outburst. It brings a light blush to his cheeks. Confessing your feelings to someone who already knows you in and out was harder than he imagined, and the added complication of his "new self" only made it worse. He knew that if he and Hide became more than friends, they would spend more time together, and Hide's a smart guy, he'd figure things out in no time. Then what would happen? Would Hide turn him in? Kaneki couldn't help but think of those things, and it was those thoughts that had kept him from telling Hide how he felt before, but now his brain wasn't in control, his heart had taken over, and it let things pour out that his mind had kept locked up for good reason. "You mean a lot to me, more than a friend, a-and I realized that when you kissed me..."

Hide listens to Kaneki attentively. "A-Are you saying you return my feelings...?" Hide asks, just to make sure. A part of Hide asks, why'd he push me away, then? Another part responds, because you probably just shocked him, doofus. Hide knew deep down that he really loved Kaneki, whether as a friend or not. He knew everything he needed to know about him, more than Kaneki could tell. And Hide would support him with everything he could. His face brightens up a little in hopefulness at Kaneki's words. If Kaneki mean't what he said, did that mean they could be together?

"I-I-" The short answer was yes, he did return Hide's feelings, but he was scared. Terrified, in fact. He didnt want something to happen to him and leave Hide questioning, and he didnt want Hide's life put in jeopardy because of him, and most of all, he didn't want Hide to see the monster he'd become. But Hide's eyes sparkled with hope at his words, and it made Kaneki's heart skip a beat. He took a deep breath before responding. "Yeah, I am. I-I really like you, Hide." A soft smile came to his face, complementing the blush that tinted his cheeks and nose. "B-but, I'm afraid of hurting you... That's why I pushed you away, because I didn't know what to do."

"You wont hurt me if we use lube," Hide says jokingly, before laughing. "Kidding, kidding. But really. You don't need to be afraid," he reassures Kaneki. Hide puts his hand lightly upon Kaneki's shoulder to comfort him. "I'm a tough guy, don't forget that! There's nothing you can do that I won't be prepared for!" he reminds Kaneki. Hide smiles. His heart is pounding furiously and he's trying not to let his explosive joy show. Hide's mind is shooting off fireworks and cheering he likes me back! I can't believe it! He's shaking a little, holding back so much emotion, but he doesn't want to just start freaking out on Kaneki or kissing him again. Take things slower, man!

"T-that's not what I mean!!" His face turns bright red, but he can't help but smile at Hide's joke. It was nice to see him happy again, and his laughter seemed to light up the room. Hide's reassuring words and hand on Kaneki's shoulder worked to calm him down again, and make him worry a little less, but not enough to calm him completely. He would always be worried about Hide, especially now. "I think there are a few things that you wouldn't be prepared for... But I guess you're right, you are pretty tough! You could probably handle it!" Kaneki scratches his chin nervously, but he wants to believe that they would be okay. He wants to be happy with Hide, but he wants Hide to stay safe too. Maybe, he thinks, he could protect Hide better if he kept him by his side. Even if things did stay okay and he really didn't need to worry, he didn't mind the thought of being alongside Hide even more than before. He focuses back on Hide, who looks just as happy as he feels. His sunflower colored hair seemed to glow in the dim light of the apartment, and his smile sparkled much like the stars they'd seen earlier that night. Kaneki found himself really staring for a moment, half trying to remember if he had noticed Hide staring at him like this earlier that night. Without thinking, he pulls Hide into a tight hug. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Hide smiles wide and closes his eyes, tightly embracing Kaneki. Feeling the others warm touch and affection made his mind go blank in ecstasy. Hide knew that regardless of the circumstances he assumed to be true, Kaneki being a ghoul, that he would stay loyal to Kaneki in the end. He didn't care if he ended up dead as long as his best friend stayed safe. He heat of Kaneki's body flows into him and he feels sparks go through his nerves at the sensation. Kaneki's scent wafts into his nostrils, a familiar and welcomed smell, flowery laundry detergent and coffee beans. Hide could stay like this forever if he had the choice. He would go through all the hard times in life with Kaneki and protect him as best as he could, but would gladly enjoy the good moments like this with him if Kaneki would let him. They hadn't even agreed to a relationship yet, but they knew their feelings were requited and the reveled in that realization for now.

The hug lasted quite a while, for a hug anyway, because neither wanted to pull away. Kaneki was content in this position, burying his face in Hide's shoulder, letting Hide's warmth radiate into his body, and letting Hide's scent overwhelm his sense of smell. Being a ghoul now, that was probably a dangerous thing to do, but Hide had always had a homely scent that was hardly masked by whatever cologne he might wear that Kaneki couldn't help but have a fondness for, ghoul or not. Hide was like the living embodiment of a sunrise, and Kaneki would be quite happy for Hide to be the first thing he saw every morning. Kaneki was the first to pull away from the hug, albeit hesitant in doing so, to look Hide back in the face. Hide's deep brown eyes now reflected a lovely dreaminess that only came with total happiness. Hide's cheeks were slightly pink, barely noticeable under his dusting of freckles. His lips were tinted the same light pink, and Kaneki thought about how they had felt against his own not too long before. He wants to kiss him now, but doesn't want to surprise Hide, especially after what happened with their first kiss, and it had not been long since that had finally been resolved. "So, what do we do now?"

Hide grins at Kaneki, loosening his grip, but not removing his arms from the other. He stares back into his eyes and laughs a little. "Well, I guess we should go on a date or something and be boyfriends if that's cool with you?" Hide answers. He assumes Kaneki would agree. His chest feels warm at the idea of going out on a date with Kaneki. It probably wouldn't be all that different from them normally going out, but it would mean a lot more. Not that being with Kaneki before wasn't meaningful, but, they'd be dating. DATING.

Boyfriends. The word repeated itself a few times in Kaneki's head and made his head feel fuzzy, but in a good way. "That sounds like a great idea." He feels a warmth similar to what he'd felt when Hide had kissed him at the thought of going on a date with him. The idea was almost surreal. He imagined romantic dinners and movie dates, dates like the kind the couples in books have, but knowing Hide, their dates would be much looser and fun than any novel date, and he looked forward to it. "I don't know if the middle of the night is a good time for a first date though, but I guess it depends on what you have in mind."

"W-Woah, what are you insinguating? I'm not a slut, Kaneki, gosh," Hide says, pretending to be insulted and flipping his hair. "When are you free? Because whenever you're free we should work something out. We both have classes and you have a job, but if we are open any time soon we should totes go out," Hide says, grinning. "Does this make us a thing now? I mean, if you wanna wait until we get super for real coupley to think of me as your boif, thats chill, but otherwise, are we in the kawaii yaois?" Hide asks, wiggling his eyebrows and squeezing Kaneki closer again.

"I wasn't insinuating anything like that!" He frowned at Hide, "I just thought about stargazing or something; nothing like what you're suggesting!" He couldn't keep the frown on his face long, however, since Hide's happy aura brought a gentle smile back to his face. "Well, I think I have Friday off of work; and my weekends tend to be pretty free." He matches a bright smile to Hide's before continuing. "I guess it does make us a thing. I don't mind looking at it like that. But, uh, that 'kawaii yaois' part seems a little weird." He squeezed Hide back affectionately, chuckling at his antics. He leaned in closer to Hide, close enough that their foreheads were only an inch or so from touching. He figured he should probably leave soon, but he was comfortable in his place next to Hide, so he didn't bring up leaving just yet.

"Hahaha, yeah, yeah, I know, you know I'm always just messing with you," Hide chuckles. "Sounds great! You can text me or something tomorrow and we'll work out the details? Sound good?" Hide says, nudging Kaneki's forehead with his. "Swag, I'm dating Kaneki Ken now," Hide whispers, relaxing into Kaneki's position. Hide, nearly reading Kaneki's mind, reluctantly asks after a few silent moments "It's really late, man. Don't you have work tomorrow? Maybe we should resume this mushy gushy cuddlefest another time, you gotta sleep."

Kaneki sighed, knowing Hide was right. "I guess so. Touka would probably kill me if I was late again." He slowly lifted his head and moved away from Hide, but didn't move his arms just yet. "I'm glad that you asked me to hang out tonight. You're right, this is a lot better than rotting alone at home." He stops for a second and quickly glances down to Hide's lips and back up to his eyes. He remembered their short kiss from earlier and wanted to make up for breaking it so abruptly. "Uh, Hide, I was wondering, a-and you can say no to this if you want," he says softly, "if maybe I could kiss you before I go?"

Hide's mind squealed. He's so cute! Hide grins wildly and nods, lacing his own fingers together behind Kaneki's back for a moment. "Yeah! Oh, yeah, uh, of course man! That--That's totes good! I-I'd like that a lot..." Hide blubbers out. Hide looks around in every direction in nervous excitement before resting his eyes on Kaneki shakily and slowly allowing his eyelids to close and his shoulders to relax as he waiting to Kaneki to remove the space between them. Hide had kissed Kaneki earlier, but now Kaneki was going to kiss him!

Kaneki smiles and nods back at Hide, leaning back in towards him. He allows his eyes to flutter shut as he closes the gap between them, and soon his lips were pressed against Hide's for the second time that night. Their lips molded almost perfectly together as they had before, although they were a bit crooked due to Kaneki's lack of practice kissing, and Kaneki could feel the same warmth spread through his body as he'd felt earlier that night when Hide had kissed him. He curls his fingers into the loose edge of Hide's jacket, keeping their bodies close. He feels himself relax, all his worries from before seemed to fade away, and he didn't want to be the first to pull away from such a lovely kiss, not again.

Hide uncurls his fingers and uses one to pull upward into Kaneki's hair, pulling him in deeper. Hide softly adjusts his lips, moving them against Kaneki's. Hide feels as if he was a dog his tail would be wagging a mile a minute. Hide breathes quickly through his nose and feels the heat radiating of the both their faces. He feels as though his blood is electric. He can't pull away even if he knows it'll end soon enough.

Kaneki can feel his heart beat quicken when Hide pulls him in closer, and he can't say that he dislikes the sensation of the other's fingers entwined in his hair. He's never had someone kiss him like this before, so usually when he read about a kiss like this, he was skeptical. But the authors' descriptions were not too far off. He felt like there we're fireworks in his brain and his heart felt like it might burst out of happiness. Their closeness made his heart flutter, and he realized just how addicted he could become to it. Kaneki lost his sense of time, and could no longer tell if they had been kissing for seconds or minutes, and he forgot momentarily about leaving so that he could get some sleep before work in the morning. He thinks that if, by some strange occurrence, time were to stop, he wouldn't mind being frozen with Hide like this until time began to move again. But those kind of things only happen in stories, and time wouldn't be stopping around them anytime soon, so one of them would have to pull away eventually. Kaneki slowly eases out of the kiss, lingering close to Hide for a few moments, before pulling away completely, in a much more polite fashion than he had earlier that night. "Thank you," he whispers with a smile on his face and Hide's jacket still clenched in his hands, lightly running his thumbs across the fabric.

Hide takes in a slow breath of air as his lips break away from Kaneki's. "No prob, Bob," Hide whispers seductively. He giggles and pets Kaneki's hair gently. He nuzzles his softly again, smiling brightly before releasing Kaneki completely and sitting up straight again. He eyes Kaneki up and down and lets out a happy high pitched noise. "Dude, you're awesome. Now get out of my house before I ravish you and become a whore," Hide jokes as he wobbles up, legs shaky, and then helps Kaneki to his feet as well. Hide comedically pretends to push Kaneki towards his door and then quickly hugs him from behind. While still hugging Kaneki, he uses one hand to pull open the front door and croon "Giddafuckouttamahouse," to Kaneki before practically shoving Kaneki away. Hide knows if he doesn't get Kaneki away to sleep he'll end up holding him forever and ever.

If Kaneki were a cat, he would have been purring at Hide petting his hair. He blushes at Hide's tone and nods, "I guess I really should get out of here; like you said, you're not a slut." He chuckles, taking Hide's hand to help himself up, noticing the other's unsteadiness, concerned that he might make him lose his balance. He didn't notice his own shakiness, however. He starts toward the door, stopped suddenly by Hide's hug. He savors the brief hug before being all but pushed out the door. He found parting ways much harder than he expected, and he really did need the push to leave. Hide left him wishing for more, but that wasn't an entirely bad thing, he thought. "Heh, goodnight to you too, Hide," he hums, flashing a smile and waving back at him as he steps through the door. He yawns, his tiredness finally setting in, and he tries to keep Hide from noticing and saying 'I told you so.' "See you in Anteiku tomorrow as always?" He knew he probably would, Hide was always there around the same time; it had become a sort of habit for them to go there after their classes. Kaneki looked forward to it, even though he would be busy working. Just getting to see Hide among the other customers would be good enough for him. And sometime soon, they'd go on a date, a real date, and Kaneki looked forward to that too. Any time he spent with Hide meant a lot to him, but now it would take on a new meaningfulness in his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is wishfulfeline and my girlfriend's is sunflowerkinghide! I promise we post lots of Tokyo Ghoul and we both cosplay it too! I do Kaneki, Hide, Rize, Kimi, and soon, The One-Eyed Owl! My girlfriend does Hide, Kaneki, and soon, Nishiki! I appreciate your support!


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